bitterness

I try really hard not to be bitter. I want to be happy for other people. I have been brought up that way, so I dont know why I get so bitter sometimes...but sometimes I do.
There is this gorgeous lady who goes to church with me. I didnt even know she was single. She is very well off financially, so she can get her hair done, wear designer clothes and afford to pay attention to her looks. She has only been single maybe 2 years. Yet she just announced today she is engaged! Everyone is so happy for her! And of course he is a wonderful man!
It seems the women who have money never stay single long. Those of us who are broke might as well give up ever finding true love.
We have many men who want to have sex with us. I got 3 offers alone this week! I dont want to have sex until I am married, these men know that, yet they still persist!!!!
I am attractive, educated, kind woman. (despite my occasional bitterness) I just want someone to appreciate me for who I am, who will also give me the things my heart needs. I dont want someone I met online who was looking for sex. I dont want someone who is still married. I dont want someone who likes to drink with his buddies more than being with me. Am I crazy?
This too shall pass. I shall be happy and loving and wonderful again tomorrow! I will find my love someday, and if not I am happy with myself. I am an amazing woman!!! Good luck all. I hope you are able to find true love, however, expect me too be just a little jealous! ;)

Im just me!

I am a single mother with three children. I have been single for 9 years. I have been in and out of relationships since then. I am not bitter towards men, but am trying to not repeat mistakes I have made in the past. I want to be loved. I want to love a man again. I am not desperate, but I do miss that companionship.
I belong to a religion that frowns on "intimate relations" outside of marriage. So, I try really hard not to do those things, but I am a woman who enjoys those things. Men always seem to want to do them and get upset with me when I wont. Occassionally, I lose control and do something stupid, but then get really frustrated with myself afterwards.
I just graduated from college with a Bachelors of Science. I went to school, so I could support my family. At this time though, I am afraid I am going to lose our home, and everything we own. Finances have been such a struggle.
I have a large, supportive family. I feel sometimes though that I use them too much, and they are tired of me and all my problems.
I just want to use this as maybe a journal for me to get my feelings out there, without burdening someone, or getting them frustrated with me again. Sometimes, I make stupid mistakes. I try to stay optimistic, but there are times even i need to vent.
Have a great day! Hope to see you again.