I just seem to keep getting worse. We keep ruling things out, but not finding any thing out. People keep asking me what is wrong. I cant point out any one thing that is wrong, but some days I lie on my bed wondering if I will live to see my daughter go to college next month. I am very weak. My heart is not doing well.
I love my children. They have been through so much all ready. They still need me. My youngest especially. I dont want to think what would happen if I was not here for her. I have gotten her into therapy to deal with everything she has been through.
I am trying to decide at this time if I should go on short term disability while we try to determine what I have. That is part of the problem though.... go on disability for....???? this is so frustrating.
The past two days I have been in and out of consciousness. Heat and rain both seem to impact me negatively. The headaches have subsided. Now it seems I am just dealing with the heart issues. If it is indeed heart issues. This past week I have only worked 13 hours. I still have not been approved for my FMLA. But I can not work, when I can not even be awake.
I know there is a reason this is happening. I have faith my Heavenly Father is helping my through this. I know he has a purpose in this, I see I have been blessed. I had wanted to go back to school to get my Masters but was unable to and was angry over that, but now I see where i would have been in severe trouble if I had. Heavenly Father knows what is going to happen and He does watch out for us. We are so blessed. (even though we are frustrated :))
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